


Hank Hill vs Jake Conway. I tell ya h'what!

by JustSagan



Series: Hank Hill vs [1]
Category: King of the Hill, Ride to Hell: Retribution (Video Game)
Genre: Anger, Battle, Crossover, Desert, Fanfiction, Fighting, I tell ya h'what, One Shot, Quick time events
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-08 12:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16429163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustSagan/pseuds/JustSagan
Summary: Hey… Wanna hear a story about two legends fighting? Ahh! That's what I thought!





	Hank Hill vs Jake Conway. I tell ya h'what!

[ ](https://imgur.com/G76V8Ag)

Hank found himself in a weird place. Never before had he delivered propane so far away, but he still happily did it. Even if he had to drive through some small desert town. 

Of course, having driven for a such a long time had left his big’ol truck out of gas. So naturally he pulled over to get some gas, and grab a few snacks. 

However, as he got out and made his way inside, a man dressed as a biker pulled up on a motorcycle. The man was quite interested in the propane truck. He had plans for it.

Noticing that Hank was inside, the man took the opportunity to break into the truck. Fortunately for Hank, some truckers noticed the man. 

“Hey! Get out of there!”

The three truckers ran up to the man, ready for a fight. What they didn't know was that the man was also ready for a fight. 

The first trucker tried to punch the man, but he dodged out of the way and uppercutted the trucker. He was knocked out before even hitting the ground. All this did was piss the other two off. 

The man thought quickly, and punched another trucker right in the gut. The other trucker pulled a knife out, but didn't even get a chance to use it. The man was able to trigger a quick time event, and knocked the trucker out in only a few hits. 

The last trucker was having trouble breathing. The man had punched much harder than he expected. But the trucker didn't have much time to think about this after the man delivered a swift elbow to the back of his head. 

The man looked around and smiled at his victory. Nothing could stand in his way now… Or so he thought. 

“Now I wish I could stay and talk more, but I gotta- BWAAAA!”

Hank couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Three truckers layed beaten on the ground around his truck. That alone was worrying enough, but then he noticed the man trying to hot wire it. 

“What in the Hell do you think you are doing with MY truck!? Who the Hell do you think you are!?”

The man turned to face Hank, and smiled. 

“I’m Jake Conway, and I need this propane more than you do.”

Jake wasted no time, and tried to take Hank out with a quick punch. To Jake's surprise, Hank managed to dodge it and counter attack with a not a strong punch. This left Jake a little dazed. 

“That's it! I’m gonna kick your ass!”

Hank unleashed an ass load of punches on Jake. They were way quicker than your average middle aged man could throw, but Jake was able to block most of them. Still, enough got through to hurt Jake.

“Grr… YOU DON'T KNOW WHO YOUR MESSING WITH!”

Suddenly, another quick time event happened. Jake was able to successfully land every hit, and was about ready to finish Hank off. But little did he know, Hank was not ready to die yet. 

“Now boy… You are NOT gonna stop me from delivering that propane! I tell ya h’what.”

Just as Jake was about to deliver one last punch, Hank grabbed his arm and threw him to the ground. Hank proceeded to repeatedly stomp on Jake's face while Jake struggled to get back up. The fight would have ended there, but Jake noticed the Truckers knife laying on the ground. 

Jake grabbed the knife, and stabbed Hank in the right leg. Jake left the knife in, and laughed as Hank screamed in pain.

“You know if you just let me take the truck, then none of this would be happening to you.”

Hank seemed like he was finished at this point, but Jake didn't want to risk it. So he shoved Hank against the truck, and started to beat on him. Hank didn't have the strength to block the punches. It seemed that this was the end of Hank… But do you really think Hank would go down like that?

“BBBBWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!”

Hanks battle cry was so loud, and so powerful that it pushed Jake 5 feet away from him. Jake quickly regained his footing, and charged at Hank. However, just as he was about to punch Hank again, a quick time event happened… But this wasn't Jake's.

“I’M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!”

Hank pulled the knife out of his leg, and stabbed Jake in his right shoulder. Jake cried out in pain, but was quickly silenced with a swift punch to the face. Jake was completely helpless.

Hank was red with rage, and his punches were faster and stronger than anything Jake had ever seen. Even if he didn't have a knife in his shoulder, there was no way he could block any of Hanks punches. 

This beating went on for a good minute, and only stopped because Hank was about to finish the quick time event. 

“Taste the meat, not the heat!”

With those last words, Hank delivered one last punch right to Jake's face. The punch caused Jake to go flying into his motorcycle. The motorcycle was completely destroyed, and Jake was knocked out. 

Hank calmed down a little bit. He decided to call the cops in order to help the truckers. Normally he would have helped them himself, but he was now falling behind. 

His leg still hurt from the stab, but that wasn't going to stop him from delivering his propane and propane accessories. 

**Author's Note:**

> Now that is how you kick a ass!


End file.
